Just when we thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel, we are faced with isolating again. The hardest part of this pandemic for me has been lack of connection.  It’s odd that in a world where we have more devices, programs and apps to keep us connected, we are more disconnected than ever. While I fundamentally know that we are all hardwired for connection, I really didn’t fully appreciate the depths of grief I would experience without you, my clients. Clients may sound sterile but it’s how everyone on this list started out with me. What I love about my work is that clients turn into friends, colleagues, peers, and connections.  I love learning your stories, sharing your triumphs and challenges, cocreating new beginnings and ultimately watching you achieve your life’s work. To help me process, I set out to dig deeper to understand what was happening, here’s what I learned:

I think we are all experiencing grief at some level:

Loss:  Our loss of normalcy or the routines we used to enjoy; the loss of what we were planning or looking forward to or the loss of the connections we experienced everyday.

Longing:  That hollow feeling we want to replace with something we knew, something familiar.  Often experienced when we think of loved ones we have lost. This past fall we lost my Father-in-law and I often find myself longing to call him and share a win with him, he was my biggest advocate. We long for that impromptu lunch with friends or the excitement of planning our next getaway.

Feeling Lost:  Having to re-orient ourselves to a new way of being can be debilitating. We are so used to our routines (going to the gym, celebrating birthdays together). Our routines keep us grounded, creating a sense of security. We can be paralyzed by a continual flood of what I call the first of first’s (the first Fathers Day with out my Father in Law), the celebrations having to take place on zoom.  We’re having to navigate a new path, one that is completely different than anything we have ever known. If someone told us this was for X amount of time, heck we can all do that. But, not knowing or having an end date can feel like being stuck in inertia.

So, back to connection. What we know is that the harder it is for us to explain our experience with loss, longing and feeling lost to those closest to us, the more disconnected and lonelier we feel.  You may be finding it hard to articulate these feelings as I was. I’ve never been much of a journaler (my made up word) but I found through this pandemic that it’s been exactly what I needed.  Seeing everything on paper has helped me sort and conquer and highlight where I need to dig deeper.  Another great resource has been my coach, talking things out with her helps me make sense of these thoughts of loss and longing.

Connection starts with me. So here is what I am committed to do:

  1. CFD (Crappy first draft): Take the thoughts and ideas from head to heart to paper (with no editing!!!). What am I thinking, feeling, and doing? Get it all out there, don’t leave anything out.
  2. What can I let go of? In other words, what is out of my control and therefore need to let go, for example the news. I’ve taken a news break because I can’t control what I am seeing, and it is only adding to my load.
  3. What’s most important here? What am I most passionate about? For me it’s my business/craft and getting back to connecting with my people. Here’s where this blog started, it’s a vehicle to get re-connected with you.
  4. The one thing… What’s one thing you can do each day to connect with something that brings you joy. This picture says it all for me

Another opportunity to connect with all of you is through my website. You may notice it has a new look and feel. With the help of Joan Abend of Insite–365, we revamped and re-launched with loads of new content, events and an introduction to Laurie and Shelley, my strategic partners.

What are you doing to fuel connection and what’s your one thing? Would love to hear from you. Or, if you would like to take a deeper dive into the work, connect here for a 30-minute complimentary call.

Be well,

Sandra